Confession: I loooovvveeee me some sweets!! OMG! It's almost as if they have some sort of spell on me. And even though I know that the instant pleasure of diving into a nice, moist slice...or two...of cake can result in the putting on of pounds that could be hard to shed, I still partake. Not because I need to, but because my desire to have it outweighs the discipline I have to say, "No."
You don't have to divulge, but I know myself that, in my life, I have had the "cake" experience (for the purpose of this message, we are going to personify a slice of cake). You look at the cake, carefully examine the cake, smell the cake, think about how good the cake would be, and then, finally you decide that you are just going to have the cake. At the time, you feel that you need that slice of cake and it would be the end of the world without it, but what you don't think about, is how the desire to have that slice of cake could only be a distraction thrown at you, by way of your flesh, to keep you from doing what you know is right. If you don't know where I'm going with this, let's go ahead and actualize it.
Our lack of discipline and self-control is what can put us in situations that fuel the wrong sexual desires. One wrong decision, one wrong person, one too many lustful conversations can have you living with lingering consequences that resulted from only a moment of temporary satisfaction. I'm not sure how familiar you are with The Paradox of Hedonism, but it points out that the more we seek out pleasure, the less we enjoy it because it may not yield the results we seek. The Bible urges us to "Flee fornication." Because, "Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body" - I Corinthians 6:18, KJV. Our bodies are temples and they don't belong to us (I Corinthians 6:19) and if we want to protect, preserve, respect and honor these temples, we have to watch what we do with our temple and who we do it with. By saving yourself for the person God has ordained for you- your spouse- you can save yourself from, one, committing a sin, but also from feelings of shame, disappointment, regret, a tainted reputation, and feeling misused. You can also save yourself from the unknown. Let's face it, unless the Holy Spirit reveals someone to us, we don't really know a person and by giving yourself to someone that you don't know much about, you take a chance with your health, your feelings and your heart. None of which are to be taken lightly.
Think about it this way, by giving your body to someone who is not purposed by God for you, you are, in theory, sleeping with the enemy and you make yourself "the enemy". I'm not saying the particular person you choose to lie down with is someone out to attack or harm you, but what I am saying, is that the enemy's plan is to derail, distract and ultimately defeat you. So any act of sin you engage in is contradictory to God's Word and you become your own enemy and the person you have chosen to sleep with is a form of your enemy. (I hope that makes sense....)
We have to recognize that by giving in to deviant sexual desires, we are basically telling God, "God, my desire to feel good right now is more important than my desire to please you". And that is not the message we should send via the heavenly airwaves. But what we have to do is discipline ourselves enough that when we want that piece of cake but don't need that piece of cake, we have the strength to say no. And we also have to make sure we aren't baking the cake ourselves and then trying to fight the urge to eat it. Meaning- a good way to overcome the desire to partake in sinful, sexual acts is to not intentionally open up avenues for that desire to overtake you. The best way to fight the urge to sin is through God's Word. We have to be spiritually prepared at all times for attacks that may come our way.
If this were easy, everyone would get it right, but the truth is, it's not. And since God knew that at some point we would choose wrong, He gave us a manual to help us do things right. I know a lot of people who wish they could've done things differently, but I also know a lot of people who are thankful that God spared them throughout the years of their frivolous and negligent behavior. There is nothing wrong with saving yourself for marriage and if you haven't, there is still time to start over. I'm pretty sure if you were to talk to someone who had it to do all over again, they would tell you, "Save yourself to save yourself."
Be.Blessed ~ Brittany D.